Whitney Houston : When Death Exhales Life

Life Lessons We Can Learn From Her Death

18th of February 2011

11:05 P.M.

Honestly, I had cold feet about doing this. Apart from one of my pet peeves being people saying all that were wrong with a celebrity's life at their death and this blog not being a gossip, I really don’t know how to tell other people’s stories well. And in fact sometimes when I try in all sincerity to draw another man’s story from my mouth, it falls flat like gossip, like hard peas boiled half way in the mouth, unoriginal is the best word. I have chosen to tell this cause I found my own story in it. Yes, I’m talking about Whitney Houston and it’s not just my story, but OUR story I find in this woman’s story. Let me tell you how.

Whitney passed on the 11^th of February and at first I was shocked at the news. Can I make a confession right here on my blog? I cried, I literally cried. The news couldn’t have caught me at a more vulnerable time than that. Waking up at 4 am to hear that someone whose voice had put smiles on your face on bluesy days wasn’t here anymore has got away of opening up something deep in your heart.  I got up and put on her song ‘I didn’t know my own strength’ one that really spoke to me during a very hard time. It was then the hot tears came, I thought she was gonna make another record; I thought she was gonna come back stronger, bounce back like they say when people got overwhelmed by the weight of the world we live in. I thought so many good things for her and it just pained my heart that she left just like that. I said some prayers, hoped she was in a better place and had some reflections. I couldn’t make any conclusions on why this happen, so I picked up my devo and moved on into the day. That was a week back.

Tonight as I watched her funeral, I saw a good in all the bad, I saw the hand of God moving in all that had happen even a week back. I saw how God was taking the painful things the enemy meant to harm the hearts of her loved ones and was using it to bring forth his glory and praise. Yes, she wasn’t going to make another record, yes she was gone and I and lot of people were so sad about that but her funeral was held in a church broadcasted live via CNN to approximately 170 million people. Now that was a miracle, people who didn’t even know her were watching her funeral. And I’m wondering the number of people who would have come to the knowledge of Christ through this one broadcast. I’m wondering the number of people that this drove to pursue a deeper intimacy with Christ. I’m wondering the number of wayward humans whose heart broke at hearing her eulogy. I’m wondering the number of those who had gave up on the Christian faith before but had an opportunity to see it in new light that very hour. I’m wondering and still wondering.

A friend of mine on Facebook of whom I’m sure didn’t know what was going on quoted the pastor referring to him as #TheBlackManOnCNN. Someone also said this (which I really loved) ”There is finally GOOD NEWS on CNN #JESUS #HOPEOFTHEWORLD”

The point is God used one modern, relevant and broken woman’s story (who was trying to comeback stronger after a setback) to show forth his glory. Last week I thought her story was ended and I was so sad and sorry but I am not God and I don’t see as he sees, His ways, far higher than mine. When I only see the rough back side of the embroidery on the clothing, he sees the beautiful pattern on the outside.

And this is where our stories come in. where are you, how are you doing and what are you going through? Do you think it’s the end? Have people told you that your situation is ‘dead’. Please remember the faithfulness and sovereignty of God through the death of beloved Whitney Houston today. 

As I write this, playing over the air waves is my favorite of hers ‘I didn’t know my own strength’ and I’m asking myself ‘What can God not do?’. As I leave you with the lyrics of the song from Whitney Houston I hope we come to learn and realize day by day that God sees parts of the scene we aren’t seeing and I also hope this thrusts us into trusting him . . . with everything, Yes EVERYTHING.

P.S.- I was actually meant to post a different post today but I had to change at the last minute. I would be posting 'Antsy' on Friday. I can't wait for you to read it, it would bless your heart :)

I Didn't Know My Own Strength by Whitney Houston

Lost touch with my soul I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go  

Lost sight of my dream Thought it would be the end of me
I, I thought I'd never make it through I had no hope to hold on to I, I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble I got through all the pain  

I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive I picked myself back up, hold my head up high I was not built to break I didn't know my own strength

Found hope in my heart I found the light to life my way out of the dark Found all that I need here inside of me
Oh, I thought I'd never find my way I thought I'd never lift that weight I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble I got through all the pain I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive I picked myself back up, hold my head up high I was not built to break I didn't know my own strength

There were so many times I wondered how I'd get through the night I thought I took all that I could take

I didn't know my own strength And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble I got through all the pain Oh, I didn't know my own strength
My faith kept me alive I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high I was not built to break I didn't know my own strength
I was not built to break, no, no I got to know my own strength

On Community : Ayo's Journal [A Birthday Special]

 Image via flickr

 

There is something more powerful than anybody - and that is everybody - Eddy Rickenbacker

3:45 am



August 1


Monday

It's morning and almost dawn. I woke up with a sense of nostalgia. Yesterday I came back from a teenage retreat organized by my church. I was a coordinator right there and sincerely miss everyone. It's the summer and most packed their bags for their various summer spots after. Okay, I'm gonna miss each and every one of my guys, I just said that again and sincerely I can't wait till next year when we all are gathered for another.


I'm sitting here listening to Audio Adrenaline's Glory. It's a bit rocky and it's from a CD I got when I left high school. The whole scene this morning gets me wondering how easily we tend to move on after a human contact. Everyone likes to prove 'strong' and fake the ' it's was really nice meeting you but i have moved on since then'. Sometimes we even give it a shrug humming at the end 'i have a life to live'. I remember high school days, I remember college days, I remember my service year. I remember the amazing and beautiful people I met. How I had a chance to pour into their lives and how they sincerely poured into mine too. The laughs, the cries, the worries we shared, the joys we both jumped to. I look back and smile. Now everyone has moved on both emotionally and in fact geographically. But one thing I try for time to time to do is to treasure those times in my heart and not just be cynical about them. I remember this truth from time to time; I cant have a real and sincere life without the people around me.

Dear friends we must remember, people need us and we need them too. Let's learn to freeze the beautiful moments we all have. Some people our paths would never cross again but it's in the moment we release ourselves to draw from the treasure of moments we had together that our paths cross again. And it's does a good thing to us. It clears the room in our hearts to love a little more and respect what it means to be truly human.

It's not that I do these things from time to time. Sometimes if not most I tend to lean to the side of being emotionally frozen but I'm learning too. I'm learning to pick up the phone once in while to send a big electric smile. I'm learning to retell a story of how an old friend helped me through a very hard time to a new friend. I'm learning to appreciate from day to day the various beautiful people I have come across my entire life. And I invite you to do the same. Though it might get us tender at first but we should remember this ' We can't have a real and sincere life without the people around us'.

The little lessons I have been learning about the importance of community has spurred this up. Finally I would like to give a big shout out to everyone I went to high school with, everyone I went to college with, everyone I did the national service with, in fact everyone I did primary school with, I sure remember you too. A big thank you for the joy days. It was a privilege sharing life with you. And lastly, to my church youth group, I sure have a date this time next year. I cover my eyes as I say this but I might just say it, I might as well be packing for the next retreat. It's a great privilege sharing life with you. :D






P.S.-


October 31


That was some months back. And today my birthday, as I look over the last year of my life, one of the many lessons I've learnt is 'not neglecting community'. People are important. This past year for me was a redefinition of why I am here. I had to make lot's of HARD choices, and serious my back still pains. LOL! I also had to say lots of nos and turn down lots of good things.

I'm grateful to God, my Sustenance who keeps leading me into all I need to be and learn  per time. I'm also thankful for friends who don't think I'm a monster for forgetting and not calling them on their own birthdays ( cause, really I'm not one) LOL! .  I'm wide-eyed and expectant for the year ahead. I hear romance and travel. Did you just raise a brow? There's a time for everything and it's beautiful when you wait for your time, oh yes it is. And yes, lots of writing still and some personal projects I would be embarking on.

And also to my readers, it's been a privilege. You are one of the many reasons I'm here.

This year expect the unexpected, God can do more than we can ever imagine. A little exercise: Pause, Imagine the best you can for yourself . . .  are you through? Where you stopped is where God starts! Lean your entire being on Him. Trust in Him

U R LUVED :)

If I had it to do all over again,

I'd get help

If you make it to the top alone,

then you didn't climb averyhigh hill - John C. Maxwell

Question of the day: What are your thoughts on community? How important are other people from your point of view? Would love to read your comments :)



On Motivation And Waiting For The Big Moment

[ Image by erinrena ]

12:48 am

Saturday

Tonight I curl up lazily with cold hands in front of my computer wondering my motivation and the driving force of my conscious steps towards the successful life I want to lead. It’s been cold and rainy at my corner of the world, and I call it night though it’s morning because this is my night. My eyes have known the light of day for the past long hours. Far from my home with a couple of church friends on a retreat, it’s been a tedious day of giving and receiving. Oh yes tedious. At a point during the ordeal, I wanted to hold my eyes and cry hard while sharing with the group at a point, but a thought that swam in my mind for some hours some days back just seemed to surface instantly, showing up it head: we can’t give what we don’t have but sometimes it’s a hard process giving what you already have.

Right now that the day is over and I’m at a reading desk deep into my night, a friend which I’m sharing the room with is playing off Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit on the iPad and seriously I want to scream from my desk to the only Friend I know that would understand such a question of the heart. I want to scream ‘Why do I feel that way at times? Why is it sometimes hard to process the treasures of knowledge gleaned from the house whose foundation is built in wisdom? Why? But two things stop me. One, I would be screaming at the wall and that is a situation in itself. My friend would just simply freak out. It not so good screaming at walls when it’s not only you in a room, ask those who have tried it, honestly you wouldn’t find them. In fact if you do, you might just not get an answer to your question. You might just get a scream. And two, why scream at the wall? My Friend who understands the deep questions of my heart no one might understand is not the wall. He is Jesus. Though I might not see him with my eyes, he is not the walls. He is beyond the walls and He will be even when these walls have fallen.

I will wait for another day to see why sometimes it’s a hard process giving what we have. But why do I do the things I do. What’s my motivation? Why have I chosen to take the hard walk on the road to success? Why have I and am I choosing to do the hard things very few people are doing? Why am I still awake, reading blogs and typing away when my contemporaries are fast asleep? Why? Sometimes I feel foolish and I just stop. 'Nobody is doing it'. 'Life is not that hard'. I whisper to myself. But it’s in moment like that I receive grace to remember that I haven’t been to the end. But the ones who have been to the end I have consulted.

I remember inviting Barack Obama into my bedroom one cold evening. The monsoon rains were lifting and I was caught in a cold that was not my own. It just didn’t fit me. I am always rendered useless when I have a cold. I crawled under my carton colored blanket and I picked up a copy of Dreams from my father (President Obama’s Memoir which he wrote and published when ‘no one’ knew him). I was in a strange land serving my country which is required once one graduates from college or university or else I would have preferred by chocolate brown duvet a gift from my paternal grandmother (who is now late). It is thick and fluffy and would have absorbed more of the cold the rain brought but the idea of always considering it smart to travel light made me switch for the carton coloured blanket which was less bulky and also a gift from her. So on that very day I cherished it. I folded my legs in and cherished it as Barack Obama came in to my room to tell me how he gave voluntary service without end in the neglected suburbs of Chicago. How he heard the voices of those whose cries had been neglected by the government. How he encouraged when no one knew. How he gave hope to mothers with troubled sons when no one cared.

Please tell me friends, who doesn’t start small? Please remind me, which farmer reaps in a farmland he hasn’t sown. I remember that day, as I closed the book, night was setting in. I stepped to my window and looked out at the forming moon. Shaken by Barack’s story, I whispered in to the night “whatever it takes. I want to be’.

Several months have passed by now and I’m still contemplating an old question. The old question that made me curled up nights upon nights with Rick Warren’s purpose driven life. The old question that made me pledged that I would read it at least once a year. And somehow, just somehow, this writing brings the answer to the surface again. I find out here in a room far from my room ( my friend’s still playing Hot Pursuit on the iPad) that the best way to answer this very question is to tackle first head-on the ready answers I’m given by the world. So here we go.

Is it because some don’t believe that I can and I want to prove that I can?

That’s a no no for me. Sometimes back it used to be why. I wanted to show the people that didn’t believe in me that they were liars. But I can’t. That’s a cheap dream to waste a life on. I have learnt from a wise sage somewhere somehow; haters are to be pitied and sincerely prayed for and seriously I have started doing that and honestly, I’m on it.

I could go on, listing the answer choices the world gives me but tonight I’m thankful that the truth surfaces. Simple reason to the question is because ‘I want to’ and that friends changes everything; the desire that keeps burning in me to be all that I can be. On evenings after some stormy days after I have struggled on my life’s significance and the chaos is resolved, my eyes sometimes suddenly open to the truth that I am significant, my life matters, in the words of C.S. Lewis, I have an unique answer to a unique problem that would remain unsolved if I don’t step in and save the day. It’s in moments like this I know with a certainty that this desire wasn’t placed there by me. There’s a greater power fueling this burning desire. God has set me in motion to settle a part of the commotion.

It’s this drive that drives me to make every moment big in preparing for the BIG moment. Friends, our big moment would come but I must say ; if we haven’t learnt the art of transforming our most mundane and ordinary moment to big moments in the place of preparation, our BIG moment might just pass us by. Reason: We could not realize it for what it was.

"The ability to see the dream we have been given is refined in the hidden place. The man who wants the dream to become a reality keeps seeing even when others can't see a thing. And preparation helps us see better"

Question Of the day:

What seeds in your hands are in need of sowing or are you a farmer expecting to reap in a land you haven't sown?

Privilege

[Image by cubagallery]

I tip toe into the T.V. room

‘Will He come today?’ is the question that hits hard at my heart

A sense of confusion awakens me from the hands of the night and pulls me in still

So what am I to do?

I have come

I find my place on an empty side and seat still

My mind is sour

I want my bed

I doze a bit

I snooze for a while

My attention thaws

My mind wanders

And it’s then I remind myself I’m not an alarm

Why should I snooze in the first place?

And it’s then I am alarmed!

Alarmed by the truth that it’s a privilege

It dawns on me twenty five minutes into the ordeal that he’s been waiting for me long before I came.

And I came 15 minutes late

Actually I woke up 5 minutes late

I struggled with the inevitable hand that invites us to nature’s rest for the next 10

And finally I threw back the duvet, found my bedroom slippers and walked over like a knackered fresh army intake invited for his first drill

This is not a drill, I have to remind myself

It’s a privilege

An invitation to meet with the King of all the richest kings of the earth and more is a privilege.

I wouldn’t mind a morning with the Sultan of Brunei

In fact a couple of mornings

Guilt flushes my face as I think on that

When the Divine invites me on mornings and I feel jaded about it ; I need to see

Maybe I’m blind to who he is

He is God

The sultan would one day pass and shouldn’t be compared to the One whom he will one day answer to

Last time I heard

He’s bigger than this room

He’s bigger than this earth

He’s finger span is bigger than entire universe

 And last time I checked

He’s been waiting for me long before I came in 20 minutes late

And I’m wondering

How does a big God fits himself into my ‘tiny’ TV room to talk to little me?

Stepping Out:

The Christian is peculiar. He has a God that wants to meet with him or her, A God that wants intimacy and wants to know the individual personally, the real God. But most have made him into a ‘Sunday’ God, a God who is lofty and doesn’t indulge or isn’t concerned with our affairs. Or like the character in the verse above, some see relating to him as a duty.

But seriously, I beg to differ. . .

There can be expressions. There can be a dance. There can be a song of love. He can be a best friend and I’m learning that too. But wait. . . Like all relationships, our relationship with the Divine requires time, openness and some other things we overlook. And it's important to note that quantity does not equal quality but quality has to be consistent to retain quality.

So what can you do today to increase the quality of your time with God? Who knows you might just be starting out or you might have stopped overtime due to not ‘meeting him there’. I want to encourage you, it’s not too late. God would redeem the lost time and draw you close. So back to the question: what can you do today to increase the quality of your time with God?

It might be simple as resetting your alarm wake-up time.

Till Next time

U R LUVED