Friday, May 18, 2012

The Difference Between A Wall and A Bridge.

First definitions, this is what they are.
A bridge - a safe structure with boundaries on both sides spanning a river or a place where there is no road e.t.c to give a type of communication across.
A wall - an erection or boundary of brick, stone e.t.c for security or to enclose a space such as a piece of land.
They are both as a result of bricks and stones and they both have some sort of boundaries
Getting Real.
In our relationships when the bricks and stones come rushing through what do we do with them?
We could either build walls or bridges.
A wall would keep the other party totally out and you totally alone, sometimes even from parties apart from the party that has hurt us.
But today I present to you the case of a bridge. I think the starting point is knowing that a bridge is also built, that is it takes cautious effort, that is it is intentional. What do I mean by saying we build bridges?
How We Build Bridges That Stand Strong.
1. Answer the question of purpose even in relationships.
Why this relationship? What are we communicating or do we intend to communicate?
2. Keep the main thing the main thing.
I have seen great connections fizzle out all because of petty things. What ever the essence of the relationship must be kept like a picture before the two parties.
3. Set boundaries. (Even Mother Teresa would have enjoyed some sort of privacy.)
Do you have boundaries in your relationship. Does the other party know your preferences? Or you're just a lifeless mannequin anything-fits?
4. When stones and brick come, you will be tempted to build walls, strengthen the bridge.
I don't mean to sound naïve but I believe there are abusive relationships where a party could be a tormentor and distance is needed. But one thing is always true, for a relationship that had great potential, we can always build on what remain. When hurts come isn't a time to withdraw, it's more of a time to be open to one another, review our preferences, and see the root cause of our problems.
Remember a bridge is a safe structure spanning over rivers, places where there are no roads and sometimes mountains. A wall keeps us in, we are safe for a while but soon we discover we are starving. What are the essential relationships in your life? What would you do to preserve and fight for them? What have you been building with your bricks walls or bridges?
I would love to hear from you.

"Relationships are painful. Relationships are wonderful. We all live in the drama that plays out between these two truths" - Tom Holladay
"Don't build walls when people offend you, build bridges"

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...