I'm smiling again and that's a good thing. Today I walked away after having a conversation with a particular person with the feeling 'I'm on my own in this world'. It wasn't really heavy talk come to think of it. Basic chit-chats, some catching up then the topic of faded dreams and stunted promises came up. Talk of how people give their word and take it back when you least expect it. God is going to make a way. Yes. God is going to come through for us in that situation we are going through. Sure! But we could always use a King David who would come and lift our 'Mephibosheth' out of his Lo-debar or like in the parable of Jesus, a good Samaritan to lift us out of our 'weariness', provide shelter and hospitality, pay the bills and promise to come back for us in case we might be needing a thing before he heads back on his journey.
'People need people' a friend of mine loves to say, 'God would not come down and help, he would send people' I agree. Yes I agree . . . or do I? But wouldn't thoughts like that be dangerous for people like me of just faith enough to breathe a second (yeah . . . just one secondJ).
So what happened to God parting the red sea himself?
Oh I forgot He used Moses as a vessel by telling him to stretch forth his staff
So what happened to God collapsing the walls of Jericho all by his mighty power?
Okay those guys (the Israelites) had to agree to match around for SEVEN days
But He sent Manna and Quail by reversing the winds
Okay, I rest my musings
ON MY OWN
Since I walked away earlier this evening, it kept coming back 'you are on your own, there's no one that you know who's going to help you bring those big dreams to reality'. Situation checked; that was just the case scenario. All the marbles I could see in the present story then matched the thought so well but something just didn't feel right about it. Yeah . . . it just didn't.
The cocoon it (the thought) created for me felt like a comfortable place to stay for all evening . . . then the weariness came, a kind of tiredness of the soul. 'I'm on my own?' DANG! That's tiring. I walk over to the kitchen to fix a snack something just to munch. It's funny when our soul is hungry and we feed our body instead *WINK*. Anyway, as I cram my plate with leftovers, I voice the first emotion, 'why does it have to be so hard?' then the complaints. . . . But just as I was about to lash out a complaint, I notice the fluorescent tube right in the kitchen . . . 'it's working!'
The fluorescent tube story is a long one but I would shorten it. We have had problems with this particular tube over the past months. In fact called in several electricians to fix it innumerable times but still it refuses to function. The whole unit has been changed times without number but to no avail but tonight I find it working!
A break from my complaints and I'm like 'Thank you God . . . I don't have to squint around the kitchen tonight . . . and that's so cool'. About to resume complaining, I hear God speak to my heart 'do you know there's so much to be thankful for'. I sit heavily on a stool. Its like have just been slapped. A smile crosses my face. True! So true! That's so true. A lot, in fact it would take me the rest of the evening . . .
It's easy to forget
It's easy to forget how good the manna tasted in the wilderness
It's easy to forget how our clothes didn't grow old even though we had none to change them with out there in the wilderness
It's easy to forget how God came through for us in time past
How He fought our battles for us when we had weapons and even when we were weaponless
But we have to carry the 'heavy' cross of remembering . . . ('remember you were slaves in Egypt. . . .' – Deuteronomy 16:12). We have to remember. What has God done? Answer that question, it points to what he can and would do.
I'm writing this post, I'm taking inventory and I'm thankful! God has been and is faithful; I'm just so blind to see it at times. The whole scene of it brings my mind to a quote I once heard by Derek Prince about prayer and I paraphrase 'if you spend ten minutes praying, eight minutes out of it should be spent in thanksgiving'. We complain because we do not know how to give thanks. I'm learning. I look back and I see God has been with me all along guiding and providing. He has proven every step of the way that I'm not my own. He has carried me all my life. I remember as I look back to what he has done that really I'm not on my own, God has been with me all along.
My heart goes out to everyone out there who might be going through a hard place. In fact you might not even be going through but you are stuck in a bad position. It seems like no one cares and no one wants to hear or help you. My word for you – God still moves stones. He still rains manna from heaven. He still moves. Yes he uses people but when people don't want to be used . . .He moves . . . really I don't know exactly how but He does.
It can be tiring when you are moving to the next phase of your life and you just suddenly realize falsely that you are alone. I've been there. I was there earlier this evening. It's time to give it up baby! You are not your own. You can't even win on your own. You are powerless! . . . . on your own. But instead of despairing in the fact that we are powerless to put together the good life we desire why not let us be empowered in the truth that a God goes before us, he is with us, we are not on our and he's got our best interest at heart?
Observation: On my own I'm powerless
The lie (What Professor satan has to say): You are on your own. You would never make it. There is no hope for you. There's no one to help you.
The Truth (What Our Counselor, God has to say): You are not your own. You are not on your own. You are not alone. I have carried you all your life.
THE END. (At least for now. :)
N.B. – Professor satan is actually not approved by the school to give lessons. His lessons are always not true. He is a liar! On many accounts students have failed in the classroom of life on the account that they listened to him. So BEWARE! :D
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