The Visiting.

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There is something about the visiting, the continual showing up and meeting together as friends even when you have nothing to discuss. It is the secret tip on how the secrets slip out. It is how bonds are formed and how you know the real nakedness.

I was once a bad friend. I was once a friend who wanted to know all the details in one day and we humans were never made that way, to open all at once. To try to know a friend at the first meeting is like telling them "Hey you, you are simpler than college maths. That took me four years to understand, you will take me just one day". We can't know the details in one day. We humans are like an erratic flame that needs to be fanned, like a barren ground that should be watered continuously because of the hope that one day it would yield. We never know the day so we keep pouring in water, we keep showing up, we stay faithful to the visiting.

The visiting can reveal a lot of things, terrible and beautiful ones. I know a girl who discovered her lover was not who he claimed to be in the visiting and called off the wedding that was near. I know another who discovered the brokenness of a said to be "perfect" friend and this made the bond so much stronger, all in the visiting.

You can't know a human in a day, it takes time and the visiting is a way of investing time. It happens in the small talks, little chit chats, suddenly you hear without asking where they were before they got here and how hard it was, the pain and how they almost collapsed and let go. All of a sudden, you witness the weirdness and idiosyncrasies they've successfully covered up with poise, make-up and learned PR skills.

We will have friendships we might never know their purposes till sometimes in the future. Some have lost these vital relationships all in the name of "defining the relationships" even when its still forming like a fetus in the womb but I beg to differ. I am faithful to the visiting. I will show up with love and a big heart. Even if it seems messy I will hold your hand and say  "one day we will know where this is going but for now let's know each other." It only happens in the visiting.